Richard Rayner, MD
What you see is not always what you get. The facade of a building may be very ornate and detailed, but may not accurately indicate what’s available inside the structure. Marketing campaigns are sometimes intentionally designed to promote an image, but the actual product may not look or perform exactly in the way it’s presented. Crustaceans have a hard exterior shell, but it’s the soft interior where life exists. Even a curriculum list represents the potential for knowledge to be gained, but doesn’t do the work that leads the degree.
Humans have the unique capacity to do as well as be, to perform but also to contemplate, reason and even worship or admire something. What we do flows from what we think or believe. But sometimes we can mix up doing with being, performance with character. For sure there are things that just need to be done – dusting in the house, grass cutting in the yard, regularly changing the oil in the car. These are things that need to be done and there’s not much “being” or feeling involved. If we don’t do them, things gets messy, break down, or may create major conflicts with our neighbors!
One area where we can tend to blur doing with being is with diet programs or eating plans. There’s no shortage of programs and products that provide instruction for how to eat so that we can lose those undesirable pounds. They show us how to – do the doing of nourishing ourselves so to speak. Some are very good in their content, providing needed and helpful instruction. They can be very effective for weight loss. They provide external, explicit instruction on what foods to eat, how much of them to eat, what to avoid, how often to eat, etc.
While the structure can be helpful especially if things are out of control, or if the dieter needs very clear, specific instructions, but ultimately they are simply external strategies or techniques. They are helpful, even necessary, but mainly as a frame work, a starting point, a curriculum. What about after the prescribed program is over?
Essentially, I’m suggesting those wanting to clean up their dietary act pursue a transformation from simply following a program for a brief time to pursuing lasting change. That requires internal work, addressing what we feel and believe about food and eating and their roles in our lives. A splint helps a sprained ankle initially until it has healed enough to bear weight again. Similarly, moving from a structured eating program on which we lean heavily for a time to an internally directed motivation is best. Ideally the progression would look something like this:
- “I want…” to
- “I can’t have…,” to
- “I realize I can live without …,” to
- “I may want…but I’m going to choose to avoid…,” or “I don’t want to overdo on this because I know I will regret it later.” to
- “Yeah, I honestly don’t want that since it doesn’t fit into my overall desire to weigh less, feel good and enjoy good health.”
That process can take years, maybe decades. It involves a type of maturing that develops through repeatedly making better choices. I myself teeter between bullet 4 and 5 always, and in reality I jump back to step one fairly frequently! The transition in thinking and action surely extends beyond a certain number of days or a certain number of pounds lost. And it’s hard work.
It’s an arduous process at times that isn’t a lot of fun, so it’s important to celebrate as you progress through these stages. Races are won through many small steps strung together. Stop and take in the view for the new heights you’ve reached. But also be honest with yourself in the process. If you love chips, nothing to be ashamed of! If you have foods you know can trigger a slide backwards, beware. Stay the course, knowing that emotional muscle, similar to skeletal muscles, grow only with persistent exercise and discipline.
Are you stuck in a mode of destructive, unhealthy eating patterns? Are you ready to tear down the façade you may have put up to give off the appearance of good health, when really the interior needs a major overhaul? Even if you’re starting at step 1 of the process, stepping up to the starting line is an accomplishment in its own right.
Put a plan in place to find a balanced program that’s focused on nutrition and do it. Get the structure you need and get started. Wear the splint. But don’t live injured. Push through to a deeper level of understanding of not only food but yourself and your issues around eating. And finally enjoy a life that balances desire with wisdom!
