Richard Rayner, MD
Not another article about COVID-19, right?
Well, yes, but hopefully this will go beyond the facts and figures with which we have been inundated. The basics of the physical aspect of Coronavirus infection are pretty much known by all. But there are many levels to this challenge, not the least of which is how we’re adjusting emotionally to the changes that have been thrust upon us. Even if the actual virus has not invaded our home or family personally, the widespread effects of protecting ourselves from it have been felt by everyone. Not since World War II have we had a situation of such global enormity. So let’s look at an approach to prolonged suffering that proved helpful to some who applied it in some pretty dire circumstances.
I first heard about the Stockdale Paradox when reading Jim Collins’ book “Good to Great” in the early 2000s. It’s named after a decorated Navy veteran, Admiral James Stockdale, who was imprisoned in Vietnam for 7 years. During that time he was repeatedly and brutally tortured. He watched fellow prisoners suffer along with him. Some made it, many did not. Stockdale attributes his survival to this: balancing reality with an optimistic mindset.
He found that prisoners tended to try to deal with their situation in basically 2 ways. Some took a totally optimistic approach. They tended to put a timeline or time marker on their situation. “We’re going to be out by ____.” (Insert: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc.). As these dates would come and go without their release, failure to meet their self-prescribed deadline led to increased despair, driving them deeper into depression. Eventually, they lost the will to go on and died in the camp.
Alternately, Stockdale and those who chose to think like him shared this psychological path instead: They embraced the facts, letting their inward voice acknowledge that their situation was awful, and the harshness of the torture undeniable. However, they also chose to balance that with the optimistic voice that told them they will eventually prevail. Without a made-up deadline, they had the freedom to simply hope and pursue that goal without having to stumble over the additional failure of unmet expectations.
It seems to me that we hear only the optimistic voices today. It strikes me that there is almost a fear that if we step on the snowy edge of “something is awful” that an avalanche of despair will be set off. Perhaps it’s a sign of desperation that we think we can just wish away the bad stuff. Slap a rainbow on it and all will be good. The danger here is that failure to listen to the message screaming from deep inside may result in foolish acts, or a complete lack of acting, that will further prolong the bad stuff and lead to worse despair. The other mistake would be to simply give in only to the awful, and after naming it, never press on towards the hopeful end.
Politicians, community leaders, and business owners obviously need to offer proposals and plans for some goals when dealing with the sweeping effects of COVID-19 on the culture. Will we be able to open things back up May 1st? May 8th? After the entire summer of 2020? The data is crucial for decision-makers. For the rest of us, we can take Admiral Stockdale’s advice and bolster our own emotions by not putting our hopes on a particular date when we can start living fully again. Rather, we can honestly acknowledge that this pandemic is really awful, but that we will overcome it. With time and with hope.
