Back to school at warp speed: How do you keep your family from imploding?

What is a Family Meeting? Time set aside once a week (anywhere from 20-30 minutes) when plans, expectations and feedback are brought before the family. At the first meeting you will introduce this as a new way to improve your family’s communication and explain that everyone will be involved in the decision making process.  It’s important to emphasize the importance of taking it seriously, and pick a time to meet each week. 

How does it work? The entire family needs to be present. Then one adult presents the agenda, explaining that after each item brief discussion will ensue. If agreement can’t be reached on a certain item, then compromise is presented on both sides.

What item are on the agenda?  Scheduling issues such as when is homework done, what time are lights turned out, when are book bags, sports bags, instruments and lunch to be packed etc. It is also important to emphasize that everyone has input about consequences when people don’t respect the agreed upon guidelines. Kids totally need to be in the decision making to underscore their “ownership” of this new idea.

What else could be included? Chore assignments and when they should be done, electronic and social media restrictions, designations for family meal nights, and anything that applies specifically to your family.  Some families “sweeten the deal” by including a special dessert after each meeting.

What if my kids won’t attend? Simple. You tell them you’re making big changes as a family, and you want to incorporate more of their input as to how things are done. They have two choices: they can attend willingly, or they can attend with complaining and disruption and face agreed up consequences.

What consequences would you suggest?  This is what you agree on together, but usually kids are harder on consequences than parents are! Ideas: First offense: lose phone and social media for 24 hours. Second offense: lose phone, social media and tv/movies for 24 hours. Third offense: phone, social media and tv/movies for 48 hours.  If the kids have a say in the consequences the battle is won.

What do you think is the biggest problem we’ll face as parents in this process?  That’s easy. Being the parents and not being afraid your kids won’t “like you.” Your job isn’t to make them like you, it’s to be an effective parent.