Richard Rayner, MD
The Anticipated Games
There’s no shortage of impact from the global pandemic our world has endured. Due to COVID-19, the “2020” Summer Olympics are part of the history that is 2021. As such, we got a chance to experience the Winter Olympics just a few months later. I love the Olympics. Although I’m someone who’s normally not particularly enamored with TV, for two weeks I find myself constantly drawn to the television to witness the extraordinary feats of athleticism and skill. This sense of wonder translates to, with the exception of the things that have to get done, losing 2 weeks of life! The early to bed, early to rise discipline takes a hiatus. In recent years Olympic coverage has treated us to up-close views of the lives of athletes, with special segments devoted to the back story of some of them. Some have overcome tremendous hardships that, when added to the extraordinary talent, commitment and devotion make the medals that much more precious.
Those of us with no background in competitive sports can only imagine what these athletes are feeling as they approach the starting line, gate, or wait for the buzzer to start. Experienced athletes watching the games, no matter what their sport, can appreciate the anticipation and pressure Olympians experience. They have an idea of what it’s like to wait for one’s mind and body to meet to execute their event. Sometimes things click, the years of training pay off, and a personal best, Olympic record, or perhaps even a world record is achieved. If you’re like me, you may find yourself in the final moments of the event suddenly on your feet shouting with unbridled excitement as if the competitor on the other side of the world can be encouraged by your enthusiastic voice.
Off the Podium
The interviews that follow events can be revealing. The winners fight through heavy breathing or tears for words to express the degree of elation they feel. We feel it with them! Amazing! Athletes who anticipated gold and earned less struggle in interviews to deal with the disappointing result. Some apologize to family. Some are at a loss for words, anger sometimes stifled behind tactful expressions, at other times pouring out with abandon. Other times the words are few but their tears shout volumes of disappointment. Jerry Seinfeld has quipped about the bronze and silver medals, “When you get the bronze you’re happy because at least you got something. As for the silver, ‘Congratulations, you almost won. Among the losers, you came in first!’” As funny as that is, sadly some athletes actually discount the silver or bronze medals as if they’re just a token, demeaning the fact that it indicates they are 2nd or 3rd best in the world! I confess that that gets me riled just a bit. Pass this guy a pacifier.
Perhaps there’s a fine line between striving for gold and being pleased with a less-than-perfect performance. Understandably in the marketplace and the arena, it’s an important and good goal to be at the top of one’s “game.” Trying to be the best leads to greater things. However, the wise businessperson will take a serious look at the “cost of doing business.” Is the investment of money, time, and effort worth it? In sports, the investment is paid in the currency of energy, personal sacrifice, lost sleep, and the thousands of dollars these athletes spend starting in their youth. Yet even with that astounding output, while hopes run high, there are no guarantees that the rewards will match the effort. Thus, the disappointment when lifetime goals aren’t achieved.
Medaling in Life
In the marketplace/workplace, the desire for achievement drives many. The reward comes typically financially, but hopefully also in the satisfaction of a job well-done or enjoyed. However, day-to-day we’re not working for or promised a trophy. Maybe that’s what retirement is?! Life is more than work, and in particular, our lives are converted from monochrome to color by relationships. The relationship economy is much different than the marketplace, therefore, necessitating a different approach and certainly many different methods of assessment. Our physical bodies, emotions, and relationships never change for the good quickly. In contrast, all those areas can go bad quickly, but building them in a healthy manner requires substantially more time and energy. There are no reliable, quick remedies for soured connections.
The measurement of success must, therefore, be different also. As I’ve written elsewhere, relationships should not take on the transactional nature inherent in business dealings. We are not products after all. Competition within the relationship never leads to a podium since no podium exists. Winning an argument with your partner or family member results in no medal that’s worth showing, just wounds that are wider and deeper, and requiring of healing.
The trophy is harmony, confidence and trust achieved only through the hard work of humility and service practiced daily and over a long period. No quick fixes, no easy rewards. Some days we come in last – harsh words exchanged, lies exposed, failure to follow through as promised. It’s usually when we’re short-sighted, not considering the long-term ramifications of our choices. Other days we grab the gold by expressing love and care through pursuing what is for the good of our friend or partner and that ultimately ends up being “our” good.
Medalists in life will tell you that it takes years of practice and much sacrifice. Sweet is the reward, even if you can’t hang it around your neck.
