David White, MD
One of the great relationships of modern history is the friendship between Charlie Brown and his trusted beagle Snoopy. In many ways, Charlie Brown is a comic strip representation of each of us, stripped of any pretense we may be tempted to display. We can often see our own clumsy strivings and disappointments displayed in his comically represented pursuits, failures and heavy contemplations. Charlie Brown would undoubtedly resolve each day with a head shake and a sigh if it weren’t for his trusted beagle, Snoopy. Snoopy is the best kind of friend— the honest kind— the kind that encourages without flattery and confronts without harm, not that the truth doesn’t hurt at times. Snoopy is that faithful voice that is ready to pull Charlie Brown out of the depths with whatever it takes— imagination, blunt force truth, sarcasm, a warm nuzzle, and best of all wisdom.
I was reminded of this when I saw a circulating Instagram post recently. It was a rear view image of Charlie Brown and Snoopy sitting on the end of a dock looking out over the quiet waters of a lake. Staring forward, Charlie Brown breaks the silence with the words, “Someday, we will all die, Snoopy.” And without as much as a head turn, Snoopy affirms and clarifies with, “True, but on all the other days, we will not.”
The intended inference of this comic is not simply to state the obvious truth that if we are not dead we are alive. It is rather a call to action, to truly live! As William Wallace (Braveheart) said, “Every man dies, but not every man truly lives.” These words were spoken to ordinary men as they stood trembling on the verge of battle; a battle for freedom against tyranny, a battle that even if resulted in the loss of their lives would grant them the gift of having lived with purpose and lasting impact. He went on to say, “Run [away], and you’ll live…at least for a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they can take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom.”
The Battle of Our Day
And while these are not the circumstances of our culture and times, many of us choose to live in subjection to the tyranny of our own minds. Fear and anxiety have taken their place on the throne and we allow our bodies to succumb to inertia— a body at rest stays at rest! The battle cry of our day…”It sucks to get old.”
This is not to say that fear and anxiety are only irrational emotions or that our bodies do not decline over time. My life’s work has been spent tending to disease, injury and the consequence of aging. Twenty years in the ER have also made me witness to the overwhelming grief that comes to the living in the face of loss from murder, suicide, accidental and natural death. Fear, sadness and angst are rational experiences in a world filled with brokenness and suffering. We ought to grieve what is lost, feel anger in the face of injustice and sadness for those who suffer—to ‘weep with those who weep.’ Fear and angst can be instructive by helping us prepare for anticipated adversity, guiding us around unnecessary risk or prompting a lifesaving response.
Selecting What You Give Position and Power
So yes, aging, illness, injury, sadness, disappointment and grief are realities of our lives. This is the context in which we live. Fear and anxiety can be the rational and natural responses to the anticipation of such things. The question is what position and power will you give them in your life? Will they be instructive tools for living well in a complex and often chaotic world, or will you grant them full authority to dictate that you live solely for the purpose of avoiding pain, sadness or grief?
The irony in this is that when we live in anxious anticipation of hardship, or are paralyzed by the fear of loss or debilitation, we are already living the broken life that we are afraid of. We are all tempted to think this way to varying degrees. Whose Sunday rest or fun has not been interrupted by the intrusive thoughts that Monday is coming! Or our vacation emotionally cut short as we count down the hours until it is over. Fear of contracting a terminal illness can be so consuming for some that they cease to live with purpose and joy today, worrying that they will one day lose the capacity to live with purpose and joy. Still others withdrawal from relationships to avoid risking the pain of losing relationships.
Perhaps we should find counsel in our memories of childhood when we played with vigor, love and energy right up to the edge of darkness (and slightly past)— that disappointing moment of having to “go inside.” We didn’t play fixed on that moment but rather played in spite of knowing that the time would come to an end, at least for that day. We also carried with us the hope of another.
Finding Your Individual Sense of Purpose
To ‘truly live’ requires that you have an individual sense of purpose and value in this world that extends beyond the simple preservation of self, or in the avoidance of hardship. Drawing on the teachings of my father, William H. White, PhD—Ageless Ideas, Inc., I believe that we each assess our own sense of purpose and value within four key areas of living, each area asking questions that we all answer consciously or unconsciously, each instructing how we live. An introduction to each follows:
Spiritual — Our core belief about why we even exist.
Asks: Why am I here? What is the purpose of my living? How did I get here?
Relational — Our inherent desire to be known and loved and to know and love others.
Asks: Do I matter? Do others matter? Am I loved as I am? Do I have someone to love?
Vocational — The unique expression of self; your way of life.
Asks: Who am I? What am I? What do I do? How do I contribute?
Recreational — What brings you personal satisfaction and pleasure.
Asks: What brings me joy experientially? What do I like to do?
These are very complex questions with equally complex and varied answers, and I would encourage you to wrestle with them. I share them not with the intent to create a simple formula for living, but to recognize that there is a purpose and quality that is inherent to life that far exceeds the simple avoidance of hardship and suffering. Adversity is inherent to living and it requires courage to live in both the experience and anticipation of such.
My gentle encouragement to my young patients facing a necessary but uncomfortable procedure, test, or treatment is “Take courage little one. I know you are afraid but remember, courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is doing what is necessary and good when already afraid.”
And just so, I imagine Snoopy turning to Charlie Brown and saying, “Take courage Charlie Brown; courage to not just live from this day to that day, but to truly live!”
