I know it’s a waste, but it’s only $2.00 and fun to pretend–so no big deal. But then, as I pass the Mega Millions billboard, my mind wanders to… ’what if I actually win?’ I’ve seen the numbers: the prize– $1,550,000,000; cash payout– $757,000,000; net after taxes–$575,472,000 (plus or minus a few million—pocket change at this point). I can work with that. My chance of winning, 1 in 300,600,000. Ugh, might as well be a 0% chance—but someone has to win, eventually. Why not me?
I, like many others who don’t play the lottery regularly, are lured into the game when the prize reaches into the realm of the absurd. At this point, we can play openly without revealing the subtlety of our heart’s discontent -“It’s only for kicks and giggles. Of course I won’t win. I don’t even care.” But our minds travel to what life would look like – better – because of the things we would have, the things we would do, the places we would go, and of course, the people we would help.
But we have all read the articles and seen the interviews that remind us that while money is freeing and powerful in many ways, it does not satisfy our deepest longings, and it certainly does not change the way we feel about ourselves. Tom Bilyeu, Co-Founder of Quest Nutrition, describes waking up the morning after selling his company for $1 billion, looking at his extraordinary bank balance, and realizing that he was just as anxious and insecure as he was the day before. Yeah, but if you are going to be anxious, why not be rich and anxious, right?
Certainly, when anxiety is related specifically to a financial circumstance, sudden wealth may offer opportunity to resolve both the problem and the associated anxiety. The unfortunate reality, however, is that when anxiety, depression, insecurity, grief, or pain are rooted in our very being – not circumstantial – our bank account balance is ineffectual is assuaging what stirs within. For some, reaching the top of that wealth mountain even amplifies anxiety and depression upon realization that it was a “false peak.”
What I am suggesting is that contentment in life is not found in wealth and ease, but rather in the continued exploration and temporal satisfaction of four essential questions that are inherent to us each.1
- Why am I here? Our core beliefs about why we exist shape our understanding of human dignity and value, thus our own.
- Do I matter? Inherent to us each is a desire to know and be known relationally, to be loved.
- Who or what am I? Our sense of purpose is found in the unique expressions of self. “I do this because I am me.”
- What brings me joy experientially? Pursuing daily expressions in life that bring us delight in a moment or through time.
Each of these are, of course, very complex and our understanding and experience of each may vary through time. This is an ongoing, internal work, expressed over a lifetime. Money cannot buy such things.
A few years ago, my friend Rich Rayner and I met a mutual friend at a remote cabin in the mountains of Virginia for a “guys weekend.” On the first morning, I awakened to the gentle call of the coffee grinder, as Kyle prepped his special brew. There was no hurry – eggs, bacon, conversation, more coffee, and a commitment to ‘clean up later.’ The day was full but slow, exploring trials, scaling vistas, more conversation, nap on a rock, lunch, target shooting.
As the afternoon sun began its decline, we grabbed some drinks and the fishing poles we had discovered on the cabin porch. We sauntered over to the edge of the stream that meandered through the property. We sat on the bank, talked and unhurriedly detangled the fishing line that clogged each of the reels. Then tapping into our supply of “fresh bait” secured at the local general store, we casted, we waded, we sat and we talked. After a time (I have no idea how long), I paused and took notice – the day’s heat, now warm and soothing; the glow of the fading sun painting the sky in amber hues, the rolling stream lifting its endless chorus, the wind whispering through the trees. I looked around to find my friends; Rich, now across the stream on the other bank was urging his line free of a hidden rock; Kyle wading just a stone’s throw downstream, gingerly picking his way through the rocky maze. Each one’s face calm, bearing the hint of a smile. This is good I thought, so very good. “Hey guys,” I said, “There really is no greater wealth than this.”
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21 ESV
1Adapted from the writings of William H. White, PhD; Ageless IDEAS
